Welcome to my pregnancy diary, sharing my experience of pregnancy the second time around, both from a style and fashion sense, and a general health and personal perspective. I’ve gone for an honest, full disclosure approach, so if you’re looking for something which only charts the easy / happier days then this probably isn’t exactly what you’re after. I’ve just reached the end of my first trimester and these are my main takeaways so far.
Let’s call it week one as never really get what stage you start at. It’s the week of the two little pink lines on the pregnancy test.
Such early days of my pregnancy and to be perfectly honest I don’t really feel pregnant yet. Apart from my current battle with the bloat. My god it’s ridiculous, fine in the morning but in the afternoon I can look 5 months gone and feel so gassy and gross. It’s a charming side effect of pregnancy!
So so happy to be pregnant though, we’ve been trying for 6 months or so which isn’t long at all in the grand scheme of things, but still exciting to see that positive result, especially as I thought for one reason or another this month I definitely wasn’t pregnant.
With it being such early days of the first trimester I’m not yet having to think too much about changing what I wear. The point of this blog is to find clever ways to maintain your style as you go through pregnancy, and not have to compromise on fashion. The truth is though your changing body means you have to adapt somewhat. Not quite yet in this pregnancy though, and I’ll continue to share my thoughts on maternity dressing, and fashion for your bump as I go through in this diary .
My emotions are all over the place. Having miscarried with my first pregnancy naturally I’m anxious the same thing will happen again, even though we now have a happy and healthy almost 2 year old. I always envy people who embrace pregnancy with pure joy, I’m just too much of a worrier for that I guess. Sometimes I’m consumed with the what ifs. The statistics on the wall of the early pregnancy unit room they stick you in after that sad news are ever present in my mind.
I’m feeling a bit of guilt if I’m honest, struggling with the thought of upsetting our little family unit and making our little man feel pushed out. I know it’s silly, as kids get a whole host of things out of having a sibling, but still one of the things playing on my mind. My husband is an only child so giving our son a sibling has a special resonance with him too, and he has none of the same worries.
Week 2. Urgh! What a difference a week makes! Feeling like crap this week. Still really bloated and now got the nausea and tiredness to go with it. In a way I’m glad, as at least I feel pregnant but also it’s pretty hideous feeling basically permanently hungover. Plus nausea developed into actual vomiting as the week went on. And don’t believe the branding, it’s not just morning sickness, it’s all day sickness! I’ve heard this line from many many pregnant friends of late, think there’s very few women who get away with a quick vom and go first thing in the morning! Unfortunately I’ve also re-discovered I’m not a delicate vomiter. So it’s a retchy, disgusting, loud, pee a little kind of sickness (the pelvic floor will never be quite the same again after baby 1).
Given I can still function I guess I don’t have it too bad, and I really feel for anyone who has chronic morning sickness. Also I read on www.pregnantthenscrewed.com the other day about a woman who had morning sickness and was working through it. Her boss decided that she was spending too much time in the bathroom being sick. His solution? For her to vomit in the bin by her desk!!! Therefore she was forced to vomit multiple times a day in front of her colleagues in an open plan office. No one should have to face that sort of discrimination and frankly humiliation. So if you’re pregnant reading this and this woman’s story resonates because you’re facing discrimination at work then check out pregnantthenscrewed.com for some advice.
My diet has turned in to that of a fussy toddler too which must be hilarious for the people at work. I’ve gone from having salad every lunchtime to solely eating beige food, mainly consisting of cheese and ham toasties. Though if I’m feeing adventurous I might manage pasta of an evening, or perhaps a chicken nugget (they’re a guilty pleasure, so wrong and yet so right). My husband was both baffled and amused by my request for a Hawaiian pizza for dinner. Suppose at least that’s got some fruit in it?!
Weeks 3 and 4 carried on much as week 2 did. Lots of nausea and feeling generally pretty ropey and exhausted. Even had to cancel plans with an old friend visiting from Hong Kong owing to a particularly hideous bout of evening sickness. Also tried doing some exercise as I’m determined to stay active as I did in my first pregnancy. It didn’t end well. 15 minutes in and it was vomit central. Not fun.
It’s difficult to know how much of the exhaustion in the first trimester is from the pregnancy and how much is from running round after a toddler, everyone I know who is pregnant with their second is finding it tougher this time around. So the advice I’d give to first time mum-to-be is indulge indulge indulge! Take long naps, get your nails done, go to a spa, do whatever you need to do to recharge. You’ll not have the chance again to think about yourself and take care of yourself in quite the same way so do it now while you can.
Week 5 and things seem to have turned a corner now, the last week I have started to feel my energy levels coming back slightly and the nausea/ sickness is definitely less frequent. Unless I don’t eat for a while, and then it all goes horribly wrong. So it’s snacks galore, though I can finally stomach something other than carbs so can start being a bit more healthy at least on the eating front. Not quite managing to exercise yet though, but hoping to get back to doing something soon.
Still managing to fit in to all my normal clothes, though all that cheese and ham I fear is stating to take it’s toll! I’m being more mindful of anything I buy clothes wise, thinking of what will last me longer, and keeping an eye out for the all important stretchy waistbands on the high street.
Week 6. Actually week 9/10 we’ve just found out as been for an early scan. My anxiety was really getting the better of me this time around so going along and seeing and hearing a heartbeat has brought massive relief. All being well it looks like we’re in for a proper Christmas baby with a due date of the 24th December!!! Poor thing, always having to share their birthday with a pretty famous one. We were both really surprised at how much we could see already on this scan. Still very blobby that’s for sure, but little blobby arms and legs all the same. Kind of like a gummy bear as the sonographer said. Owing to a screw up at my doctors I’ve still not seen a midwife which is a little odd. Think previously we were pretty quick to get in and see the midwifery team so this time around being 9 weeks has kind of crept up on us. Hearing my risk of miscarriage has now dropped significantly has also helped reassure me massively. By no means out the water but progressing nicely which means a very happy us!!
We’ve been on holiday for a week in France, and thank god the morning sickness cleared up somewhat as we ended up having to drive all the way there thanks to BA madness. 24 hours in the car isn’t the ideal when you’re in your first trimester of pregnancy, but honestly I quite enjoy the one on one time with my husband when our little boy is sleeping, we chat with no telly, phones or household distractions, and be silly and laugh together. So in some small way it was a good start to the holiday.
For the first time we took our mums away with us so we had some “us” time too and time to relax which was amazing. Also told our mums that we’re pregnant which was earlier than we’d planned as I’m so superstitious and would always prefer to hold out till the 12 week scan, but it was nice in a way to tell someone.
I’m finding myself increasingly reclusive as I did in my last pregnancy in this first trimester. I find it difficult going out with groups of people and not being able to talk about the pregnancy while they steal glances at your tummy and silently (or not so silently) question why you’re not indulging in any wine! That combined with feeling generally pretty ropey means I’ve baled on almost every social plan I’ve had. So any of my friends reading this I’m sorry I’ve been such a flake and cancelled every plan recently! Did anyone find themselves doing this in their first trimester?!
Man alive did I miss being able to indulge in the wine while we were away. Being in Bordeaux and not being able to drink is a special kind of torture 😉. I remember my mother in law telling me last time how she went off alcohol completely when she was pregnant and crossing my fingers I’d have the same, but it never kicked in. I really do miss a cheeky pint on the weekend, or a glass of wine over dinner I can’t deny.
Coming to the end of the first trimester, and finally having a midwife appointment today. Its quite a different experience this time around. I felt like I was in having appointments from about week 6 in both my previous pregnancies, so this feels pretty late. So glad we had the early scan or I reckon I’d be a complete bag of pregnancy anxiety right now. Instead I’m just pretty bloody nervous, which I know is silly but really can’t help but worry.
I also can’t get over how busy it is in the waiting room. Packed to the absolute rafters, it’s mad. My mum is a midwife so I know a bit about the pressure on resources in the NHS but sitting in this packed waiting room really brings it home.
The other difference is my husband isn’t with me. He came to all the milestone appointments last time, and for some reason this time I said he needn’t come. Now I’m wishing he was here to hold my hand and tell me to stop worrying. I can’t tell if it was silly to have him with me the first time, or a little unsentimental to not have him with me this time. Maybe somewhere in the middle, or maybe just practical as I’d much rather he saves any time missed from work for childcare.
I’m still having pretty major worries about the change in dynamics of our family when the baby arrives I’ll be honest. I feel a little consumed by it some days. My son is almost two, and a little bundle of energy with a fast-developing, amazing personality. It’s literally my favourite age so far, so much fun as he starts to really chat and interact. I really worry he’ll feel left out / pushed out having been the centre of our world for over 2 years, and react badly. He’s starting to love playing with other kids so I’m sure he’ll really enjoy having a sibling but for some reason I can’t shake the feeling that they’ll be changes for the worse rather than just the better. Anyone else share this anxiety? A friend said to me the other day that she feels a kind of sadness with having her second as her first won’t be her baby anymore and I totally understand this too.
Also how the hell does anyone cope with a newborn and a toddler at the same time? The lack of sleep left us completely zombified with one, and I sometimes worry that I don’t have the capacity for two. Sure I’m not alone in this, but probably letting it invade my thoughts far too often.
Before any possible haters out there point out the obvious too, this baby was 100% planned, and I am thrilled at the prospect of having a newborn again, and completing our family. I also think it’s important to acknowledge your anxieties though, so they don’t take over. I’m choosing to do it through a pregnancy diary in a public forum, which I know won’t be for everyone, and that’s fine too. Each to their own…
On a positive and more frivolous note I’ve definitely got my appetite back having shaken the morning sickness of the early first trimester, but still finding my energy levels are really low. I can’t rush anywhere anymore which, given I’m used to going at a million miles an hour, is a challenge. Especially in the mornings when I can end up with my head between my knees if I try and do too much or move too quickly before food.
I’m planning on starting to do some gentle exercise again next week though. I exercised beyond my due date with my last pregnancy, which always got me some funny looks in the gym towards the end so I’m keen to get my fitness back up. So difficult with a toddler and a job though as I’m sure all you other mums find too.